Hoarded at http://www.scn.org/newspeak Celebrating cutting edge advances in the Doublethink of the 90's Written by Wayne Grytting

The Culinary Arts

None other than the president of Dow Jones, Karen Elliott House, came forward with sound advice for President Clinton during his moment of deliberation over Iraq. Recounting a 1990 interview she had had with Saddam before the invasions, Ms. House wrote, "I asked how he felt about being known as the Butcher of Baghdad. Without hesitation or remorse he replied: "Weakness doesn't assure achieving the objectives required by a leader.'" Then without any similar hesitation or remorse, Ms. House drew the obvious conclusion. "That's sound advice for President Clinton," she said, "as he contemplates using force against Saddam..." Then he too can earn the coveted title of the butcher of Baghdad? Or, Ms. House, how about butcher of the month? (WSJ 2/11)

Crop Failures

This month's award for Best Defense of US Policy in Iraq goes by acclamation to Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. In Ohio, Ms. Albright faced a large audience described by an unnamed senior State Department official as showing "general support for our position despite a few bad apples." One of the bad apples quoted a statement by President Carter that 100,000 Iraqi civilians could be killed if we started bombing again. In a response that failed to gain the press attention it may have deserved, Ms. Albright did not bother to deny the figures. Instead she announced, "I am willing to make a bet to anyone here that we care more about the Iraqi people than Saddam does..." Air Force personnel were reportedly working around the clock to carve the message "We care more" on US bombs. Ms. Albright finished by reaching out to gang members and drive-by shooters with this argument: "If he does the totally uncivilized thing of putting women and children to guard his regime, then the fault is his." (NYT 2/19)

Psycho: The Ad

Drug companies are dropping their practice of limiting the advertising of prescription drugs just to medical professionals. Now even mental health drugs for depression and schizophrenia will be marketed directly to the consumers. Alan Holmer, president of the Pharmaceutical Manufacturing Association, defends this direct marketing to potentially unbalanced consumers in these words: "This is the information age and more information empowers patients to be able to have more meaningful conversations with their doctors about cures and treatments." Right on. I remember just how empowered I felt after watching the latest McDonald's commercial. And those of you who haven't been having your share of meaningful conversations, well maybe a few more ads would do it for you. Fortunately, says the Wall Street Journal, "There is no shortage of experts helping drug companies learn to think more like a Coke or a Nike." (WSJ 2/10, NYT 2/17)

Smile, You're on Candid Camera

One of the big growth areas in the field of electronic surveillance is in the use of remote-controlled camera networks. Whole cities can now be viewed block by block by hundreds of strategically placed cameras feeding video images into a central control room. The Port of New York and New Jersey has taken the lead with a grand total of 1,200 cameras monitoring its bridges and airports. Private companies are springing up to fill the need for complete video surveillance by police and TV stations. In New York, a video controller for the privately controlled Metro Networks is quoted as saying "Rule of thumb, if you can see the Empire State Building, we can see you." Fortunately there is an important safeguard protecting citizens' privacy. Says Kevin O'Reilly, operations manager for Shadow Traffic Network, "But really, we don't have a lot of time to look at people's apartments." That's the safeguard. (NYT 2/22)

Special thanks to the eagle eye of David E. Ortman. American Newspeak should be appearing twice a month and if it doesn't, whine until it does (just kidding). To get on the e-mail list, write some pseudo-witty remark to wgrytt@blarg.net.