Dear Barack Obama: Please Go Fuck Yourself Already

By • on December 19, 2011 4:44 pm

I didn’t vote for the motherfucker. I found the motherfucker’s pre-election Hope-hype transparently bullshittable. I cackled long and loud when the motherfucker won the Nobel Peace Prize.  I’ve argued a million-and-one times that the policies of the motherfucker’s administration have been wholly indistinguishable from those of his predecessor’s.

But I guess I’m not cynical enough, because his latest trick has truly shocked me.

Barack Obama marked an end to a war he once described as “dumb” by declaring the conflict in Iraq a success and saying the last US troops will leave in the coming days with their “heads held high”.

Shocking…but even more, just absolutely sickening.

In true Bush-era fashion, there was plenty of merriment in Obama’s speech (transcript courtesy the official White House website) at Fort Bragg…

Now, I’m sure you realize why I don’t like following Michelle Obama. (Laughter.) She’s pretty good. And it is true, I am a little biased, but let me just say it: Michelle, you are a remarkable First Lady. You are a great advocate for military families. (Applause.) And you’re cute. (Applause.) I’m just saying — gentlemen, that’s your goal: to marry up. (Laughter.) Punch above your weight.

…and plenty of good old-fashioned Nuremberg-esque jingoism…

AUDIENCE:  Hooah!  (Applause.) [...]

THE PRESIDENT:  Hello, everybody!  (Applause.)  Hello, Fort Bragg!  All the way!

AUDIENCE:  Airborne! [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah! [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah! [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah!  (Applause.) [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah! [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah!  (Applause.) [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah! [...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah![...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah![...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah![...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah![...]

AUDIENCE:  Hooah!  (Applause.) [...]

…but nowhere to be found is any mention of the humanitarian and ecological toll of the second Gulf War, which mark it as one of the more depraved crimes in American history (and that’s saying a helluva lot).

Hundreds of thousands dead? More than a million internal refugees? Unexploded cluster bombs maiming and killing even more? Radiological munitions? Civilian infrastucture laid waste? Wanton torture and cruelty?

Hooah!, and pass the motherfucking popcorn.

Barack Obama, like his predecessor before him, is a War Criminal. Like his predecessor before him, he thinks his crimes are praise-worthy, and joke-worthy. Like his predecessor’s before his, his Administration has been a pox upon this world.

A vote cast for this man in 2012 is a vote for death, destruction, and misery untold. Just don’t do it.


By David Jensen on January 4th, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I prefer better grammar and punctuation in my rants.

By Name on February 20th, 2012 at 2:08 am

Fuck Obama he’s worse than Bush.

By Stevie Cavallario on November 28th, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Congrats to Barack Obama for being re-elected, he is really a great president. *

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By jhotz28 on June 16th, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Fuck you stevie cavallario , you socialist cocksucker.

By Edward Combholder on October 2nd, 2013 at 5:55 pm

This rant looks as if it was written by a functionally illiterate nine year old.

By April bridge on October 10th, 2013 at 8:31 pm

Fuck ombana,,,, go back to where u belong

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